"Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows"
I would like to tell you a bit about what friendship means to me
and how much I have needed my friends now more than any other time in my life.
Friendship to me can be described by telling you about the recent adventure Chloe & I
had on the first weekend in June 2002. My wonderful friends came and kidnapped Chloe & I
and took us on a "Girls Get-a-way" retreat to the beautiful Sunshine Coast. Although I was
very nervous about taking Chloe as I wasn't sure how she would travel and how she
would react to the stimulation, I am sooooooo glad that my friends convinced
me to go. I honestly cannot describe how wonderful the experience was.
It is amazing to me that sometimes you don't realize how much
you need something until it happens.
I am really very blessed to have my girlfriends.
Since elementary school, there have been 9 of us who have remained very close
through all of these years. And although many of us now live distances apart and we
have our own lives and we all have very different personalities - when we get together
it is as if no time has elapsed and we fall back into the loving closeness that we shared
as young girls. During our get-a-way, we soon became comfortable and open with
each other and I didn't know how much I was needing to share what I am going
through with them just as they were wanting to somehow understand and be
there for me. It was so great getting my sweetie out into the sun, with the
ocean breeze blowing through her silky hair. Ohhhhhh how happy
I am and how blessed I am to have such friends.
On Saturday evening we all sat on the living room floor in our pajamas,
sipping glasses of lovely Okanagan wine and we did an activity called "10 Defining Moments",
inspired by the "Oprah Show". We each took turns sharing defining moments in our lives.
By "defining moments" I mean moments in your life, both positive and negative, that have
defined and redefined who you are. Those events that entered your consciousness
with such power that they changed the very core of who and what you
thought you were. A part of you was changed by those events,
and caused you to define yourself, to some degree by
your experience of that event.
Well, we each shared the defining moments of our lives. Wow!! I don't think we have ever
shared such intimate moments with each other as we did on this night. It was a remarkable
and enlightening experience and I will cherish it always. I of course shared my Chloe
"defining moment" and the experience of how my darling sweet Chloe has changed
my life and that I wake up each morning, look at her beautiful face and I am
consumed by happiness, I have never been happier in my life.
I told my friends that I didn't expect them to understand because they probably
think how can I possibly be happy seeing what is happening to Chloe. But I told them
that yes it is sad that Chloe has this horrible horrible disease and that I hate that she is
suffering and that I would do anything to take her suffering away. But that I am
soooooo thankful that she has come to share herself with me and that she has
made me happier than I ever dreamed possible. I am one of the lucky
chosen few to experience such magic. I then shared with my friends
a page from my diary and recited a poem I had written for Chloe,
HAPPINESS
I can be sad,
But there is so much more to be happy about...
I can be sad that you have this terrible disease inside of you.
But I am so happy that I've been blessed with the chance to love you.
I can be sad that somewhere underneath the medication you've lost your smile.
But I am so happy that when I lay down beside you that you completely relax.
I can be sad that I'll never have the chance to see you walk and run.
But I am so happy I can put my finger in your hand and you ever so gently grasp it.
I can be sad that I'll never hear you tell me that you love me.
But I am so happy that I can feel how much you love me as your eyes light up when I am near.
I can be so sad about so many things and that I have so little time with you.
But I am so very happy that I have this amazing moment with you.
You make me so HAPPY, Chloe, and I love you so very much.
xxxoooxxxooo
And then we all cried buckets & buckets of tears, I never knew I had so
many tears stored up inside of me.
What an experience.....I have never digged so deep and shared so intimately
with them before, just as they too opened up. Ohhhhh how I needed this trip,
I will be forever changed by the experience. I also believe that because of this time spent
with them that they really got a chance to know my darling girl and
to experience on some level my new life and who I am now.
That brings me to my darling Chloe, what a darling girl she was for her mommy.
Oh my sweet baby girl was perfect, I think she knew how much I needed this so she gave
me the time I needed. She was sooooo good, so relaxed, she overwhelms me.
She never ceases to amaze me. Ohhhhh how I love my baby girl.
xxxxxxoooxxxxxx
Thanks for following along in our beautiful Chloe's Journey of Love.
xxxoooxxx
(Click on Pooh & Piglet to Hear all About the HH Symposium)